Early Morning Rambling

I’m back on coffee this week. I hadn’t brewed coffee for so long at home, I forgot the measurement, or how I like it, to be more exact. My third try was a charm. It’s Wednesday night, or rather early Thursday morning, and I’m far behind at work. It’s going to be a working weekend.

I postponed my travel anticipating delays at work. My goal is to set a better structure by July so that I may be away for a month or two without loosing it. Nothing is impossible though I know it maybe a little ambitious. Oh well, that’s my goal and I better reach it.

Brad planted the Camellia tree that was a housewarming gift from Edwina and him. I learnt a thing or two about planting. It looked therapeutical and fun. I was tempted to put my hands on it. I couldn’t find my cotton gloves. Latex plays havoc with my skin. OCD and allergy to pvc/latex. Go figure. I’ve learnt to improvise. I wear cotton gloves underneath the latex ones. That keeps my skin happy while I can dispose the outer layer. Smart, huh?

Every time I go to the backyard to enjoy the Camellia up and close, my neighbor’s dog barks like crazy. There is only the fence that separates him and me and my Camellia. He never used to bark before. Is he allergic to Camellia? When I’m watering the poor Camellia, I’m filled with guilt for upsetting the dog. I try talking to him over the fence to calm him down. It works for few brief seconds before he looses it again. I’ll have a chat with my neighbor this weekend.

In the midst of my crazy week, economy has slid further. Imagine all those Atlanta city workers loosing their jobs over night. It’s very irresponsible. People must be given notice before being let go. I always keep that in mind. One’s got to do what one’s got to do at work, but at least have the decency to let the employees know ahead of time.

It’s a lesson I learnt from my father and great-uncle when I was a happy-firing person. My father always overruled my “tantrums”, as he called them, and I don’t think I really had any firing authority. I think it was my father’s way of testing my leadership qualities. Whatever it was, it’s paying off now what I learnt then.

To make it worst for the unemployed and the struggling society, Shell and BP reported record first-quarter profits. While consumers are burdened with high oil cost, leading to inflation, these idiotic and criminal corporations are lavishing in luxury. Am I the only one seeing this distorted picture? All these politicians need to stop pointing fingers at each other and regulate the gas price immediately. Or, whatever needs to be done.

OK, enough rambling. I’ve got to get up early.

Going Back

From time to time, my mind blanks out. It usually happens when I’ve too much to do. The amount of files I need to look into is not making it fun to focus on one project. I’ve made a resolution during the weekend: I’m going to restore to my early days and be intricately involved from scoping to rollout of every project. I’ll step back again when hiccups are minimized.

Maybe I’ve been delegating too much work to others. I don’t micro manage so when the responsibility of a task is taken up by someone, I expect to see the result on schedule. People work best when they are entrusted with responsibilities. But, I’m beginning to think that may not be the case with everyone. Sometimes holding hand may be required. So, my solution for now is to go back to doing what I do best: oversee the entire projects myself.

It’s Sunday night and I’m stressed because 3 reports are still not in my inbox yet. I should have definitely had 2 reports by Friday. I’m making myself available for all the meetings tomorrow. Being client-centric means that it’s vital every project meets deadline and are rolled out with precision.

It’s going to be a long week. But, with me in the driver’s seat I’m confident we can work much faster.

Food Shortage?

I just visited a Middle Eastern store to get a CD for an associate who is leaving the US. I took Azi’s advice and got him an Arabic CD. The owner of the store informed me she is out of basmati rice. By out, I mean there is a shortage of rice supply in the country. She stocked Jasmine rice as a substitute. Middle Eastern and South Asian cuisine use basmati rice for all rice dishes. I wonder how those restaurants will manage now?

Imagine shortage of food in the US! I heard a few comments in the store how the US will now know what it is like to have food shortage. Perhaps they were referring to Iraq, Palestine and other war torn countries, where US either started or are a direct sponsor of those wars. And wars mean no food and chaos, to put it mildly. Of course, one cannot compare starvation due to war with shortage of rice only.

Isn’t it then past time that billions of dollars be spent in restoring the economy rather than spending in wars?

On a different note, Fleetwood Mac’s Peacekeeper is running in my head.

Live to work or work to live?

Lately, I’m often asked what it would take for me to be working for someone else, be an “employee”, to be precise. That is a very good question: what indeed?

The term “employee” itself makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel like a commodity, belonging to some- one or some-entity. I love my independence and the ability to do what I want to do. I want to live to work and not work to live. I don’t like the idea of not being in control of my financial stability or time. The concept that someone else or an entity will decide my duration of vacation is not appealing either.

When I was an “employee”, I never fully understood why I’d become defensive when I was reminded that I was one. It took an year of time-off and travel for me to figure out for whom or where I wanted to work: for myself and anywhere I chose. Once I had the answer, the rest fell into place. It was and is hard work but at the end of the day, I am content. And, that’s what matters.

Having said that, what then would it take for me to be an “employee” again? I’d say independence, flexibility, my role in decision making, and of course, a price tag to my complete satisfaction, to name a few preferences. That’s not asking much, is it?

So, what’s tempting: live to work or work to live?

Rambling

Allergy may be getting to me, after all. I felt lethargic all day and took off from work early afternoon. I tried making up for it later in the evening, but ended up postponing a conference call for tomorrow. Only the other day I mentioned I was over being affected by pollen. Talk about speaking too fast.

How does one deal with the death of one’s child? I can’t begin to imagine the pain a parent must feel. What soothing and comforting words must one use in such a situation? I can never find the right words. Words seem so shallow and meaningless. I only wish I could make it better.

Perhaps, time will heal all wounds. I know it always does.

Democratic Party Division

With Clinton’s win in Pennsylvania, Democratic drama continues. Obama and Clinton are both doing McCain and the Republican party a huge favor by throwing mud and bringing out each others dirty laundry. I’m getting sick of this. The longer it takes to nominate a Democratic candidate, the better it is for Republicans. Democrats are confusing the voters not to mention create division and bitterness among themselves.

I’ve heard people argue that this bickering between Obama and Clinton will not divide the party. Wake up, people. The party is already divided and not a question of “creating” division. It’s same as saying the country isn’t going to go through a recession when in reality the country is in recession.

As for me, I don’t feel optimistic about any presidential hopefuls. The worst scenario will be if it comes down to McCain vs Clinton in November. There will be no choices then. McCain and Clinton belong to different parties but speak the same language.

As a woman, I disagree that you should support someone only on the ground of a person’s gender. I cringe when I hear this argument. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for woman’s rights and equality. But, that’s no reason to vote for a corrupt and unethical person just because she is a woman. Blind support, no matter what the reason may be, is dangerous.

What are superdelegates’ thoughts?

Body’s Own Language

There comes a time when no amount of caffeine will keep one awake. When the body is overworked or exhausted, she will not heed to any artificial boost to keep her going. She will send signals that she is shutting off before doing so. I encountered this basic equation recently when hectic schedule for the last couple of weeks and weekends resulted in my sleeping nearly all day Sunday. I couldn’t afford it because I had so much to do. In spite of drinking endless cups of coffee I just could not keep awake.

It will do me good to get away for a couple of days. I can’t decide whether I should have the laptop with me. If I do, it beats the purpose of going away. On the other hand, I wouldn’t have peace of mind if something urgent came up and I didn’t have access to the files. What a dilemma!

Good news is I’ve finally shed off all the excess weight I had put on. My own diet and health plans helped me reach my goal. There is no one recipe for everyone. Each person needs to follow a plan customized to suit his or her own lifestyle. Mine was substituting starch for protein, vegetables and fruits. Drinking lots of water and green tea helped in that process. Regular exercise, needed to lead a healthy life, boosted my stamina and energy.

To be fair to my body and as a treat to her faithfulness, I’ll go to the beach for a couple of days this coming weekend. As for the laptop? Yet to be seen.

Wisdom?

A Tuesday morning wisdom: it’s wise to stick to a decision once a situation is analyzed and evaluated objectively. Being swayed by emotion, whatever that may be, to change mind is not a wise decision. When in such a predicament, be it professional or personal, one will be in a roller coaster indefinitely. And, too much ride is not a good thing. Stepping down from the roller coaster and walking away is the smart move.

I now have to follow my own advice. A parting inspirational quote:

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. — Anon

More…

So, my house warming is nearing. It’s going to rain that evening. The thought of wet shoes is not making it fun for me. Oh well. I’m still undecided whether to cater or cook myself. I doubt if I’ll have the time to do the latter seeing the way things are moving at work this week. I would like to though. Quite a number of friends mentioned they were looking forward to my cooking. Well, we’ll see.

I’ve got to change the range. The oven is a nightmare, to put it mildly. Not my doing, mind you. I inherited it. I want to change the entire kitchen and that indecision is keeping me from replacing the appliances. Ideally, I want a gourmet kitchen. There is no budget for it right now though. I love to cook, when I’m in the mood. And, for that I need my dream kitchen. I may end up cooking a few dishes at the end. Maybe a leg of lamb and chicken. Both require less prepare time.

I’ve given up trying to work. It will have to wait until the morning. I’m still hoping I’ll get some help tomorrow.

I barely have 4 months before my over-a-month-long travel. I don’t know if I can organize everything at work before then. Maybe I should postpone. I do need to get away for awhile. My life is on a roller coaster. It may sound weird, but work is keeping me sane.

OK, it’s 3:35 am and this car is circling our street. It’s very loud and the driver is just going back and forth. He is creeping me out. There goes my peaceful neighborhood. He is coming back again….gosh! I should call my neighbor or the neighborhood police…..

Late Night Rambling….again

I’m beyond stressed right now. I met my colleague for a dinner meeting at OK Cafe because I was famished and craved Southern comfort food. I was also looking for a change of scenery for inspiration. I drank 3 cups of coffee to see me through the night. I’m confident we’ll meet the deadline on Wednesday but right now I’d give anything to see the check lists on my desk dwindling.

I came home to a freezing house. I had turned off the heater last week thinking winter is officially over. It’s 41°F (5°C) tonight, but feels colder. I believe global warming is the cause of this unpredictable weather. We’ve got to do more to prevent global warming. It is our world, after all.

Highlights of this week….so far:

Finally, Northwest and Delta merged. I learnt of the merger through an email sent by Northwest to their “valued” customers. The merger created the biggest air carrier, so far. I don’t know how it’ll affect us travelers. I do know it’ll mean one less competition which may not be a good thing for consumers. When airlines compete, travelers have more choices. But, that has not been the case overall lately anyway, mainly for the US carriers, in my experience.

Good news for Atlanta is that the new merger will retain the name Delta Air Lines and their HQ will remain in Atlanta. This will create jobs and boost the city’s economy. Being home to the world’s busiest airport and now to world’s largest airline, Atlanta’s global presence increased, multifold. Now, that should be reason enough for the city to buy snow equipments. Shouldn’t she? The world cannot come to a stand still whenever there is half an inch of snow at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. Can the world?

Jimmy Carter plans to meet with Hamas. Once again he has created controversy and angered Israelis. Since Hamas was democratically elected, by the people, for the people of Palestine, shouldn’t they be an integral part of the so-called Middle East Peace Talk? Whether US likes it or not, that’s a reality. It’s impossible to lock down an entire people because they voted for the “wrong” party as punishment, indefinitely. Might may succeed in thwarting a people or situation temporarily only. The spirit of a collective people is much stronger than any weapon in the world. That spirit gains strength and momentum with each wrong and injustice it encounters.

Talk about erratic thoughts. How much more erratic can it get tonight? Good news is, thoughts are flowing though. I may still be able to accomplish some work. Frasier helped and a little more humor may do the final trick. Rave On has been playing in my head all day. I’m listening to it again.

I could so do with some help tonight or even tomorrow….wishful thinking. A woman can dream though; can’t she?