Enough or Yet More?
April 6, 2008 by simplicity
Sometimes we put up with a lot more from people than we probably should. Of course, we do so without being aware of it. Often it’s our family or friends who try to make us realize the obvious. With all their efforts, we may still fail to recognize it. The reason is simple: we are too emotionally involved with the situation to be objective in our analysis.
A couple of my friends are in similar situations. I’ve played with the idea of sharing my opinions with them but haven’t found the right moment yet. What bothers me most is that they are re-arranging their lives for people who are not even meeting them quarter way. My friends are intelligent and objective individuals. Yet, when it comes down to their life partners, they become people I don’t recognize who allow themselves to be taken for a ride or granted, whichever phrase one prefers.
Why would anyone compromise so much for someone who does not alter or change their lives any way for the other person? I often hear people explain that by claiming to not have time. I too do that. It’s not a matter of not having time but how much priority we give to a person or situation to make time. I tried presenting this theory to one of my friends, hoping she will see the imbalance of efforts in her relationship. I’m not sure I succeeded.
It’s the fear of the unknown or the loss of comfort zone that prevents us from walking away than anything else. When friends ask me for my advise, I ask them if a person or situation makes them happy or unhappy most times. If the answer is the latter, a change is required. Unfortunately, lives are not that black and white. We cannot dictate our emotions. But, we can try. And, that’s what I’m hoping my friends will do: try.
I like simplicity in life. Since I myself am complicated I don’t need added complication in my life. Imagine what chaos that would bring! If only my friends will follow my philosophy: give as good as you get.
So, should we wait endlessly for yet more disappointments? Or, should we say enough is enough and walk away?
